Stories

This post is basically the 2010 equivalent of the practice I had as a child of bi-annually scribbling down my incoherent and frustrated thoughts in… Read More »I’m Good at Complaining

It was a dry, yellow day in Los Angeles when I clomped my way up Hollywood Boulevard to tour one of Frank Lloyd Wright’s architectural… Read More »How I Lost My Fear of Being White in Compton

Beneath that column of smoke in the distance is a building fire, an engine crew, a little piece of hell. Inside that building, impossibly hot,… Read More »Vanity in the Bonfire

I like to compare radical theories or conspiracies to a thick slice of moist, dark chocolate cake. Personally, I have troubles resisting it’s sweet icing… Read More »Chocolate Cake Conspiracies

People getting older without growing up is nothing new. I’d just like to say that Generation X (whatever that means) is a little more honest… Read More »An open letter to parents: Don’t fuck up!

… For preventing the female children of Catholics in Alberta from escaping the mortal dangers of cancer as related to HPV as related to premarital… Read More »A Modest Proposal…

I know there’s not much to say about it. Many before me have duly noted the quasi-tragi-comedy of the plight of the enlightened suburbanite; well,… Read More »Celine is Okay

My Ultimate Career died Sunday afternoon from a fatal combination of sarcasm, attention deficit and heat stroke. It was twelve years old. My Career often… Read More »In Memoriam: My Ultimate Career, aged 12, dies.

Patient: 22 year old woman, surgery August 20th, 2008 AD. Gorgeous, smart, accomplished. 1. Perscription painkillers – A+ B.1 Why are you laughing Nurse, who’s… Read More »Progress Report

You’re a grown-up now, because your e-mail address doesn’t require an explanation, isn’t an inside joke, and won’t make your mother blush. Other indications include… Read More »Observations, Humorous