What Up Bitches?

Now that you have all wholly processed our first day out-of-country, you can gorge yourself on this 11 day information smorgasbord. We spent a couple nights in BA, where it rained. This goes against what we envisioned for this trip, so I shook my fist at the heavens, then put on a rain coat. We checked out a couple churches and museums, and talked to some of the folk. We will get to what we have learned of the people and culture later. Argentina has a parallel history to Canada. Discovered, settled, colonised, then europeanized before kicking the Europeans out. There is more of a jesus flavor that Canada lacks. This all the while fucking over the native people so bad that they are WAY worse than the Canadian First Nations. They don´t have their own land or anything along those lines. I don´t think there is an option for free education and such. The reason is because Argentina is too poor. Until very recently, Argentina was only for the rich. There were no common travellers that could really afford it. This was because the government at the time decided to match the peso with the American dollar. The economy crashed eventually, and that is why everything here is very cheap. Before though, it was the Europe of South America.

There is one section called The Devils Throat that reminds me of Vlads moms…

Moving on to the actual trip. After the brief stint in BA, which we are returning to at the end of our travels, we headed to the north east part of Argentina: Iguazu falls. I hate to be the stereotype, but this natural wonder is something to be seen before you die (Elliot, Vlad, Gman, take special note). The falls span more than 2km along the border of Argentina and Brazil. There is one section called ´the Devils Throat´ that reminds me of Vlads moms gaping vagina. I poured my water bottle in to simulate the act. Scary shit. It looks like if the world were flat, this is where everything just falls off into nothingness. We were in Iguazu for 3 days. We went to the falls twice, the first was when it was pouring rain, the second time it was sunny and beautiful. We were just as soaked both times. I tanned for 10 minutes and managed to get burned like the only white boy in Argentina would. Nessie is golden brown like a baked panini. Damn pure bloods. No regrets. On a side note, it was a 16 hour bus ride. We took the cheapest, which is a mistake we will never make again. I have never come off a bus so sore, bitter, and exhausted. They make the seats uncomfortable on purpose, i swear. They are that kind of people.

Ok, we left iguazu to Corrientes, a town known for its murals. We only spent the day before getting on a bus to go to Cordoba. It was cool, but not worth more than a day. We walked the riverside at sunset, which was beautiful, then moved on the our next destination: Cordoba. This is all this city deserved for explanation, and Nessie wants this to be clear.

Alright, Cordoba is where I started to get it. Here´s the thing: up until this point it had been just a trip. Some site seeing, some experience of a different culture, but as you can kinda read, it´s a typical trip. I was almost disappointed. Cordoba is where I started to understand the culture a little more. It is in the central plains of Argentina. It´s population is 1.3 million and has some beautiful architecture. The churches are some of the first we saw where we could see it was more than trying to copy the European roots. It has 7 universities, and a huge student population. I got some time in playing street soccer until we couldn´t see the ball. I was put in goal almost every time, due to the total lack of respect they have for a north american playing soccer. I showed them some skills though, and I was invited to party with them later on. It had nothing to do with Nessie slutting herself on the sideline…. whore. We saw a choir do Mozarts¨Mass in C minor´ that was knee shaking. I´m not over that. I won´t be for a while. The church they did it in was this spectacular collage of different styles that came from over 200 years of construction before it´s completion. We stumbled across the local zoo, in which Vanessa could not stay to look at the animals for more than 10 seconds before spewing profanities that did not all go uncomprehended. It was depressing. You´ll have to see pictures…

We also managed a day trip to Villa General Belgrano. This is a town that was founded by the survivors of a german battleship, and thus the town has a distinct German feel. Nazis central. This place has it´s own Oktoberfest, although I question the authenticity of it. This place looks like Mexi-Disney does Germany. From there, during the same daytrip, we went to a town of 600 people called La Cumbrecita. It looked like a hobbit village. It took close to 2 hours to drive the 35km from VGB. Bumpy roads is an understatement. We were rock climbing in a VW. This town looks straight out of a fantasy novel. Lush, verdant forest with little huts that had smoke rising from the chimneys. I thought I was on drugs. The cocain i had taken kicked in. We did a day hike and got totally lost. Surprised? Nessie´s pants were shredded and had red polka dots by them end of the 45 minute excursion. The surrounding area is almost desert like, dotted with shrubs and small scratchy trees. Beautiful in a desolate, I´d never live here kind of way. Nessie loves it though, and would live there with her husband Bilbo, the only one willing to give her play. The children would be fucked. Literally. I hear hobbits are pedophiles.

PS: Tierney is a bitch.

We then headed to Mendoza where all the wine is from. That is where we are now, having arrived here this morning after another grueling bus ride. They not scared of AC here. My body went into hibernation while Vanessa´s flirted with hypothermia for 10 hours. The plan for tomorrow is a guided tour of the vineyards that surround the city. SPRING FUCKING BREAK!!!

Here´s what I´ve learned of the people and the culture here. They are sad and ashamed…. Their pride took a big hit when the economy crashed. They are ashamed of the poverty, the dirtiness, and the third worldness. They used to pride themselves as being SA´s Europe. In the 1970s, there was a military coup, and under that government, anyone remotely different began to disappear. Over 30 000 people went missing. They would take them in the night, drug them, toture them, then throw them out a plane into the ocean. There are still weekly rallies and demonstrations to try to find out who was taken, if there were survivors, and what exactly happened . The people of Argentina have a melancholy about them, but they have an unabating love for their country. They want to see it restored to the ´golden age´.

You may all gather and talk about this novel at book club.

Love you lots,
Alejandro and Nessie

PS: Tierney is a bitch.

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