Progress Report

Patient: 22 year old woman, surgery August 20th, 2008 AD. Gorgeous, smart, accomplished.

1. Perscription painkillers – A+

B.1 Why are you laughing Nurse, who’s the one on percocet? – B(itch)

4. That stupid nurse – 0/∞

Sleeping – ZZZZZZZZZZZZ-

a) Who CARES what your words say, book. They’re MOVING.
2. Pain free instead of pooping. – F(uck)
3. Crutching around like Tiny fucking Tim. C+
4. Remember “Interview with the Vampire”. Brad Pitt and Antonio Banderas are really hot, but Tom Cruise is the gross vampire. I think that this movie predicted the future, but no one got it. I FINALLY get it. Therefore – A

d) When you can’t move, people do things for you. How do you think FDR got to be president? – 97%

4. Juice. You still got it! – B*

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