My Ultimate Career died Sunday afternoon from a fatal combination of sarcasm, attention deficit and heat stroke. It was twelve years old.

My Career often longed for the days of its youth which contained naked Congo lines and hot tub fights, hallucinogens on the dance floor and “that time Damien and Woody drove the car around the velodrome.”

The bastard child of underage drinking and varsity sports, my Ultimate Career was born in 1997 and led a vigorous life characterized by alternating periods of love and disdain for its own existence. In its first year, My Career won a Junior National Championship as one of only eight players; the next season, it disappeared from the public eye, hiding in Central America surrounded by black beans, fried plantains and sub-par bud.

In 1999 My Career remerged as a slightly fat, defensive minded Open player who couldn’t throw breakforce.

In 2000 it took part in a half-hour, 18 call (estimate), semi-final Universe Point against Mephisto that would help to secure Invictus’ position as “the most hated team in Canada” according to pacifistic co-ed players and Eastern Canadian women’s teams. (My Career was drubbed 19-1 by Furious George in the final.) In combination with Lawn Party membership and a close proximity to Gian Carlo Carra and Dustin Hong, this event acted as a catalyst for My Career: it perversely began to believe in a double-negative form of Spirit of the Game (SOG), that is, the mantra of Not-Not-SOG.

My Career often longed for the days of its youth which contained naked Congo lines and hot tub fights, hallucinogens on the dance floor and “that time Damien and Woody drove the car around the velodrome.”

Ironically, my career never took part in any of those events (except one), but simply liked being surrounded by them. Irony and hypocrisy had always been a large part of My Career’s existence: it disliked the growing white-collar contingent of Ultimate players, despite having a university degree and working as a journalist; it held the encouragement of varsity athlete ideals in contempt, despite coming from a football and basketball background; and it abhorred the UPA and CUPA’s slick promotion of the sport, despite being part of a “new wave” of players in the late 90’s.

My Career thought that Grant Burns was the greatest Ultimate Frisbee player Calgary ever had, Burns’ play on the field being only a small part of that conclusion.

As the years progressed and My Career became a better thrower, it began to play a larger role on the field. Despite many second and third place finishes at Canadian Nationals–including a bronze medal the year it died–My Career was never able to win with its hometown again after ’97. In 2005–a limbo year for the Calgary men’s scene–My Career defected to the Nomads, a group of crusty old pricks. In the final, the Nomads beat GOAT and My Career finally had another National Championship. In its waning years, the Nomads became a large part of My Career’s increasingly geriatric social life.

In the co-ed scene, My Career enjoyed playing for Calgary’s Lawn Party, partly because they won a lot of tournaments and partly because other teams thought they were assholes. Mostly they were.

My Career liked meeting girls and playing with a hangover.

My Ultimate Career is survived by drinking, baby Manon and the odd game of tennis.