Author: Vanessa DiPalma

I’m Good at Complaining

This post is basically the 2010 equivalent of the practice I had as a child of bi-annually scribbling down my incoherent and frustrated thoughts in whatever journal I had received as a gift that year. Now that I’ve gained a modicum of self control, some technological wherewithal, and about 60lbs (I was HOT), I no longer have a warren of notebooks with a few of their pages marred by a jagged, tear-blurred script extolling the hardships of having an unbearable younger brother (you know which one), or a stressed out Papa, or a caustic and derisive exoskeleton, braces, glasses,...

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Progress Report

Patient: 22 year old woman, surgery August 20th, 2008 AD. Gorgeous, smart, accomplished. 1. Perscription painkillers – A+ B.1 Why are you laughing Nurse, who’s the one on percocet? – B(itch) 4. That stupid nurse – 0/∞ Sleeping – ZZZZZZZZZZZZ- a) Who CARES what your words say, book. They’re MOVING. 2. Pain free instead of pooping. – F(uck) 3. Crutching around like Tiny fucking Tim. C+ 4. Remember “Interview with the Vampire”. Brad Pitt and Antonio Banderas are really hot, but Tom Cruise is the gross vampire. I think that this movie predicted the future, but no one got...

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